Binky Bootcamp...aka taking the pacifier away from BR

We did it, its our fault, and we take full (okay part) responsibility why she has this addiction.  As I was laying in bed the other night (husband and both dogs snoring up a storm...aargh), I was thinking that maybe we probably need to not let her sleep with the paci anymore (envisions daughter graduating high school with pacifier in mouth).  Now to be fair we don't give it to her all the time or even to shut her up (like some parents I have seen...ahem).  We just give it to her at night and during her naps.  Before Bella was born I always said I wouldn't be that parent that has a 4 year old thats still sucking away on their paci (I apologize now if whoever is reading this has one of those).  So, when she was born Todd and I agreed NO PACIFIER's!!  We went with it for awhile, I believe it was at her 1 month checkup that the doctor asked if she sucked on a paci and of course we said no.  Well, she then told us that it helps some babies sooth...blah, blah, blah, blah, and oh blah.  So, we decided to see how she reacted to it and well, she loved it, thinking back on it now, it was a bad move on our part.  We should of stayed strong!  Fast forward 8 months to August 2011, we now have agreed to get rid of it all together.  So, I decided to start with nights (since thats when she's most tired). Todd came in as I was giving her a night time bottle and I said I'm not giving her the pacifier tonight, he said...at all, and I said yep, good luck he responds.  I thought cold turkey should work, she's exhausted, it will be fine.  As soon as I laid her down, she knew exactly what was missing....her drug!  I came downstairs and said we'll wait for 10 minutes and if she doesn't stop crying by then, then I'll go back up and give it to her.  She didn't, in fact when I went in to give her back her drug (I guess I'm considered her drug dealer, ha) she was sweating and crying (like withdraw symptoms).  I felt bad but decided that every night we'll just make it longer and longer till we go give it to her.  I hope tonight is a bit easier on us both...stay tuned!!

The Great Work Debate

To work or not to work that is the question.  Financially we are blessed right now that we do not need dual income to make ends meet, we just have to stick to a budget (my husband will appreciate that line).  I've been debating going back to work since the second I knew I was pregnant, way back when we were still living in Hungary.  I have to admit I absolutely love working but I also absolutely love our daughter.  As a normal person I have a pretty overactive imagination but as a mother its 10X worse.  For example, I had a job interview the other day and Todd was out of town for AF stuff so of course we needed a babysitter.  We've interviewed this lady and both felt pretty comfortable that she would take pretty good care of Bella.  So, this was the 1st time since moving here that we left her with anyone.  I'm sure you can imagine what was all going through my head as I pulled out of our drive way....kid nap, neglect, torture, starvation, and abuse.  So me with my crazy imagination drove around the neighborhood 3 times to make sure her car was still there....and it was.  When I think of leaving Bella at a daycare all day or with a stranger I get major anxiety which usually ends in me crying and Todd looking at me like I just escaped from the looney bin.  Not only that I think of all the things I could possibly miss (all of her 1st's), and that just crushes me.  I love spending my days with her but then I also think that it would do me good to work.  I've thought about working part time but then basically my pay check would be going toward child care, which to me is kind of pointless.  Todd is in no way pressuring me to work, just being ultra supportive and wants me to do what I feel comfortable doing (I'm a lucky girl).  So, I continue debating this issue and weigh the pro's and cons constantly...until I come to a resolution, I'm going to go love on my baby girl!