the never-ending grunting...

I knew when we 1st started trying to get pregnant that having a baby is no picnic, wait...I knew way before then but you know what I mean.  So far Bella has been wonderful, yeah the middle of the night feedings aren't easy but its been manageable.  She rarely ever cries, only if she needs something.  But, lately at 4 in the morning after we've fed her, she starts this grunting sound and it lasts for the next couple hours until her next feeding.  I know that newborns make weird noises but the problem is we need that couple hours of sleep in the morning, it makes a HUGE difference in how our day goes.  Last night was no exception except, I gave Todd C. the night off since he has 2 finals today (yes I know its Saturday but c'mon this is the Air Force we're talking about and well they don't care).  He usually helps at night by changing the diaper and what not.  I have to say last night was horrible, I was exhausted, she was exhausted and well neither one of us wanted to deal with the other (she's 5 weeks going on 16).  What I'm trying to say is, her grunting is killing me, literally.  I don't know if this is ever going to pass, I hope this is just a newborn thing.  Yes, I am thankful that she's healthy and thriving but gosh if I could ask for 1 thing for Christmas, it would be that the grunting go away forever.

30 Days with a baby

Bella is now a month old....1 whole month!  The last 30 days have been wonderful, hard, interesting, exhausting, and well a HUGE learning experience for all of us (including the dogs).  But, I would do it all over again if I had to.  I never thought in a million years that I would love someone as much as I love her...especially so quickly.  Todd and I were talking last night on how weird it is that she's here with us and how over a month ago she was in my belly and how strange it is to finally put a face with all the kicking and hiccuping and moving and also how she was a night person in the womb and is still a night person (just like us).  I've been taking pictures of her everyday and to see the changes is amazing.  And it makes me a little sad to know how quickly she's going to grow up but right now I'll live in the present.

Happy 1 month my baby girl...daddy and I love you so very much!!

so much to be thankful for

I know this is a few days late but we've been super busy with family in town and figuring out all this newborn baby stuff.  I also want to apologize to all our friends whom we haven't kept in contact with lately, but gosh this baby thing is hard work at times, especially at night.  Its been a huge learning experience for the 2 of us but we're getting it down.  Lets just say that everyday and night is different, just when we think we have a schedule....she changes things on us.

But really what this blog is about is how thankful we are.  We are truly thankful for our wonderful families, for our friends we love dearly (miss you all so much), for each other, for our poor doggies who have been so patient with us lately and last but not least for our beautiful baby girl, who keeps us on our toes.  We truly have so much to be thankful for this year!

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving!!!!

Labor of love...literally

I'm a jack of all trades but a master of none (this will make more sense at the end of this blog).  This long process started on Tuesday (11/9) morning at my Dr's appointment, my blood pressure was still on the high side, but not dangerously high, my midwife and I chatted about different options, whether that be waiting till the baby comes on her own or being induced (granted this was before my cervix was checked), they checked me and my cervix was not even close to dilating or moving, so the midwife asked if I wanted to come to the hospital tonight and have a bulb syringe inserted into the cervix to "help" it along, so I agreed, thinking okay, we'll do this tonight and possibly she'll be born tomorrow.  Todd and I decided to go out to a nice dinner (I call it the last supper) and then we headed to the hospital around 8.  We arrived on time and they put the bulb syringe in place.  Overnight the syringe did what it was suppose to, it made my cervix dilate to 3cm's, yay for small victories!  About midmorning on Wednesday (11/10) my midwife showed up and said we're going to start Pitocin and you'll have this baby before the day is over with.  So, we walked and we walked and we walked...lets not mention that there is only 1 hallway in labor and delivery, so it was a very scenic route for the 2 of us, my poor husband, God bless him for sticking by me through all of this.  Later in the afternoon my midwife returned to check the progression of my cervix and well it only dilated to 5cm, so we're still progressing, at this point I was still thinking positive.  Then there was a stall in progression...my midwife left and night shift came on (you know its bad when the techs are all saying, she still hasn't had her baby yet).  The doctor on nightshift decided since there was no further progression, that she was going to stop the Pitocin, so I could eat dinner and have a good night sleep, well obviously my contractions didn't get that memo because they kept me up all night long.  So here it is Thursday November 11th and still no baby.  My doctor came in and announced that she was starting up Pitocin again but stronger and that by the end of the day we'll be holding our baby (yeah, I've heard that before lady).  At around 3pm, the doctor came back and checked my cervix...7 cm's...woo hoo, I thought.  I got my epidural and was feeling great....ready to do this thing until my epidural failed on 1 side, sadly they didn't want to try and fix it (there's more to this story but I'll skip those details).  My nurse, Todd, and I decided to start pushing...it seemed that time flew by cause all of sudden the room was filled with everyone and their mother.  Here I would like to mention that I was dealing with a student, 2 residents, and an attending that just happened to be an Endocrinologist and loves doing C-sections....ahem.  Anyways, there was all this chatter about using forceps and noone knew how to use them except the attending (kind of gives you a warm fuzzy inside doesn't it), needless to say one of the residents was shown and pulled that baby out of me (with a lot of pushing from me no less) and at 5:49pm on Veteran's day our baby girl finally joined us, with the cord wrapped around her neck twice, I actually didn't know this till 2 days ago.   But, she's healthy, has 10 toes and 10 fingers, and thats all we can ask for...we are truly blessed.  I have to say it was NOT what I expected but the ending was perfect.  I am so thankful that I have the husband that I do, he was a champ and I couldn't of gone through any of this without him and the wonderful nurse that was with me through all of it.  Now back to the beginning....being a jack of all trades but a master of none...I'd like to think that if anyone needed advice on the syringe bulb that I could give them advice, if anyone had a question about Pitocin that I could talk to them about it, if they had a question on getting a Epidural...I could help them, and if they wanted to know about forceps that I could let them know....so I feel that this saying fits.


After all of this, I'm still debating on whether I could go through all this again....I don't know.  I know everyone says, "oh, you'll forget about the whole thing in a few weeks."  I seriously doubt it.  But, I can say this....the outcome was priceless!!

hello Bella? you can join us anytime you want....we're more ready than ever

So far no baby yet....sadly.  I go to my next appointment tomorrow so we're hoping for some progression, since last week there was none.  We've done (I feel) all that we can to help her get on her way, I feel the same though.  We've received an over abundance amount of phone calls, emails, and text messages about any "new" news and we hate to disappoint but absolutely no new news.  So, I decided to take full advantage of my last few days and get my hair done today and I feel better, now maybe she'll come knowing that my hair will look good for pictures.  So, keep your fingers crossed that tomorrow we have some progression...waiting sucks!!

still waiting....but with a possible complication

So, yesterday I had a very interesting doctor's appointment...lets just say that it wasn't what I expected.  I gained rarely any weight, which is good.  Baby's heartbeat...perfect, belly measurement right where it should be....then comes the blood pressure...high, just like last week, so their thinking maybe I have preeclampsia.  So, to take precautions my midwife wanted me to get blood work done and then do this urine test for 24 hours (which was not fun at all).  So, tomorrow I go in for another appointment and get the results back of these 2 tests and get my blood pressure taken.  Now, lets not talk about how they "checked" my cervix right before my blood pressure was taken...so that could possibly be why it was so high.  Anyone who knows me knows that I get worked up about stuff very easily...sometimes too easily (my poor husband) like for example...there was a kid screaming in the waiting room (the mother did absolutely nothing about it) and wasn't an I'm upset scream, he was just screaming...I could feel my blood pressure rising.  So, who knows whats going on.  The worst case scenario is that they will induce me tomorrow or Friday if I truly have preeclampsia, which I guess wouldn't be so bad.

I do have to add that I was a bit upset over this...I've tried very very hard to do everything right in this pregnancy and I feel truly blessed that we've gotten this far with no complications...so we'll see tomorrow what's going to happen with baby girl...till then we wait!!

We're ready and waiting...

So, here it is November 1st and yet there is no sign of baby girl joining us anytime soon, sadly.  We went for a long walk yesterday, I did some squats already this morning, and we're going to eat spicy food for dinner (lets not mention the oil my mid-wife suggested I use) and I still "feel" the same as I did yesterday and the day before that and the day before that.  I was actually hoping I would of went into labor last night so we would have her today and I could join my family at the wine tasting on Friday (selfish I know, but I love wine, in a non-alcoholic way of course).  To tell the truth, I just want the whole "birthing" process over and done with, I usually don't scare very easily but I am truly scared about this.  I blame it on the 70's birthing tape they made us watch at birthing class and that show on TLC bringing home baby.  I know I can do it, with a little motivational music and drugs, but its the unknown that scares me.  Our bags are packed, my music is ready, my birthing plan is made out...and now we wait...I should of known that she wouldn't be too early (she must take after her soon to be father, if she took after me, she would of been here a month ago).  So, lets hope that my squats, cleaning, long walk today, and spicy food bring baby girl here...she's been cleared for landing (as Todd, the pilot, likes to say)!!!

as 1 family member leaves...a new family member will join us very soon

Growing up I always looked up to my brother (most people that know me, know this), as time went on we grew apart.   I love my brother, even though we're not as close as we were many years ago, I still look up to him.  Last night I called him to talk to him before he left today for a 1 year deployment.  I was sad, sad that we aren't that close anymore, sad that he won't be here to meet my daughter, and just sad that neither one of us made any effort to fix these "problems" we have.  On another sad note, its not only me that he has turned away from but he's turned away from my sister and my parents.  Our conversation went as good as could be expected, we talked about him, we talked about me, and all I kept thinking was...why did I wait so long to contact him, granted the phone works both ways.  All, I can say now, is I pray he stays safe and I pray for a quick return home....and when that day comes I will try harder this time....I guess its never too late.

the Beginning

So thanks to my friend Tracy, I now have the motivation to start a blog.  I've wanted to do it for sometime, especially when we lived overseas in Hungary but it never seemed like I had enough time.  And now that we have our 1st baby on the way it seems like it would be ideal to start it now, so maybe when she's older she can read back on our journey with her!  Thank you Tracy!!