The Great Work Debate

To work or not to work that is the question.  Financially we are blessed right now that we do not need dual income to make ends meet, we just have to stick to a budget (my husband will appreciate that line).  I've been debating going back to work since the second I knew I was pregnant, way back when we were still living in Hungary.  I have to admit I absolutely love working but I also absolutely love our daughter.  As a normal person I have a pretty overactive imagination but as a mother its 10X worse.  For example, I had a job interview the other day and Todd was out of town for AF stuff so of course we needed a babysitter.  We've interviewed this lady and both felt pretty comfortable that she would take pretty good care of Bella.  So, this was the 1st time since moving here that we left her with anyone.  I'm sure you can imagine what was all going through my head as I pulled out of our drive way....kid nap, neglect, torture, starvation, and abuse.  So me with my crazy imagination drove around the neighborhood 3 times to make sure her car was still there....and it was.  When I think of leaving Bella at a daycare all day or with a stranger I get major anxiety which usually ends in me crying and Todd looking at me like I just escaped from the looney bin.  Not only that I think of all the things I could possibly miss (all of her 1st's), and that just crushes me.  I love spending my days with her but then I also think that it would do me good to work.  I've thought about working part time but then basically my pay check would be going toward child care, which to me is kind of pointless.  Todd is in no way pressuring me to work, just being ultra supportive and wants me to do what I feel comfortable doing (I'm a lucky girl).  So, I continue debating this issue and weigh the pro's and cons constantly...until I come to a resolution, I'm going to go love on my baby girl!